姨妈历险记 The Adventure of My Aunt

华盛顿·欧文/Washington Irving

华盛顿·欧文（Washington Irving,1783-1859），美国文学的奠基人之一，他所撰写的游记文学堪称世界文坛的经典之作。欧文出身于美国一个富商家庭，遵从父命到霍夫曼的法律事务所学习，但做律师并非他真心所愿，因为自幼饱读书史的欧文对历代传闻轶事很感兴趣，酷爱文学和旅行。在国外旅行的17年，他创造了大量的优秀作品，其中《见闻札记》最为著名。这些杰作铸造了他在美国文坛上的坚固地位，他被誉为“美国文学之父”。

My aunt was a lady of large frame, strong mind, and gread resolution. She was what might be termed a very manly woman. My uncle was a thin, puny little man, very meck and acquiescent, and no match for my aunt. It was observed that he dwindled and dwindled gradually away, from the day of his marriage. His wife’s powerful mind was too much for him;it wore him out. My aunt, however, took all possible care of him;had half the doctors in town to prescribe for him;made him take all their prescriptions, and dosed him with physic enough to cure a whole hospital. All was in vain. My uncle grew worse and worse the more dosing and nursing he underwent, until in the end he added another to the long list of matrimonial victims who have been killed with kindness.

“And was it his ghost that appeared, to her？”asked the inquisitive gentleman, who had questioned the former storyteller.

“You shall hear,”replied the narrator-My aunt took on mightily for the death of her poor dear husband. Perhaps she felt some compunction at having given him so much physic, and nursed him into the grave. At any rate, she did all that a widow could do to honor his memory. She spared no expense in either the quantity or quality of her mourning weeds;wore a miniature of him about her neck as large as a little sundial, and had a full-length portrait of him always hanging in her bedchamber. All the world extolled her conduct to the skies;and it was determined that a woman who behaved so well to the memory of one husband deserved soon to get another.

It was not long after this that she went to take up her residence in an old country seat in Derbyshire, which had long been in the care of merely a steward and housekeee. She took most of her servants with her, intending to make it her principal abode. The house stood in a lonely, wild part of the country, among the gray Derbyshire hills, with a murderer hanging in chains on a bleak height in full view.

The servants from town were half frightened out of their wits at the idea of living in such a dismal, pagan-looking place;especially when they got together in the servants’hall in the evening, and compared notes on all the hohgoblin stories picked up in the course of the day. They were afraid to venture alone about the gloomy, black-looking chambers My lady’s maid, who was troubled with nerves, declared she could never sleep alone in such a“gashly, rummaging old building;”and the footman, who was a kind-hearted young fellow, did all in his power to cheer her up.

My aunt was struck with the lonely appearance of the house. Before going to bed, therefore, she examined will the fastnesses of the doors and windows;locked up the plate withh her own hands, and carried the keys, together with a little box of money and jewels, to her own room;for she was a notable woman, and always saw to all things herself. Having put the keys under her pillow, and dismissed her maid, she sat by her toilet arranging her hair;for being, in spite of her grief for my uncle, rather a buxom widow, she was some what particular about her person. She sat for a little while looking at her face in the glass, first on one side, then on the other, as ladies are apt to do when they would ascertain whether they have been in good looks;for a roistering country squire of the neighborhood, with whom she had flirted when a girl, had called that day to welcome her to the country.

All of a sudden she thought she heard something move behind her. She looked hastily round, but there was nothing to be seen. Nothing but the grimly painted portrait of her poor dear man, hanging against the wall.

She gave a heavy sigh to his memory, as she was accustomed to do whenever she spoke of him in company, and then went on adjusting her nightdress, and thinking of the squire. Her sigh was reechoed, or answered, by a long, drawn breath. She looked round again, but no one was to be seen. She ascribed these sounds to the wind oozing through the rat holes of the old mansion, and proceeded leisurely to put her hair in papers, when, all at once, she thought she perceived one of the eyes of the portrait move.

“The back of her head being towards it！”said the storyteller with the ruined head,“good！”

“Yes, sir,”replied dryly the narrator,“her back being towards the portrait, but her eyes fixed on its reflection in the glass.”-Well, as I was saying, she perceived one of the eyes of the portrait move. So strange a circumstance, as you may well suppose, gave her a sudden shock. To assure herself of the fact, she put one hand to her forehead as if rubbing it;peeped through her fingers, and moved the candle with the other hand. The light of the taper gleamed on the eye, and was reflected from it.

She was sure it moved. Nay, more, if seemed to give her a wink, as she had sometimes known her husband to do when living It struck a momentary chill to her heart;for she was a lone woman, and felt herself fearfully situated.

The chill was but transient. My aunt, who was almost as resolute a personage as your uncle, sir[turning to the old story-teller]，became instantly calm and collected. She went on adjusting her dress. She even hummed an air, and did not make even a single false note. She casually overturned a dressing box;took a candle and picked up the articles one by one from the floor;pursued a roiling pincushion that was making the best of its way under the bed;then opened the door;looked for an instant into the corridor, as if in doubt whether to go;and then walked quietly out.

She hastened downstairs, ordered the servants to arm themselves with the weapons first at hand, placed herself at their head, and returned almost immediately.

Her hastily levied army presented a formidable force. The steward had a rusty blunderbuss, the coachman a loaded whip, the footman a pair of horse pistols, the cook a huge chopping knife, and the butler a bottle in each hand. My aunt led the van with a red-hot poker, and in my opinion she was the most formidable of the party. The waiting maid, who dreaded to stay alone in the servants’hall, brought up the rear, smelling to a broken bottle of volatile salts, and expressing her terror of the“ghostesses.”“Ghosts！”said my aunt resolutely.“I’ll singe their whiskers for them！”

They entered the chamber. All was still and undisturbed as when she had left it. They approached the portrait of my uncle.

“Pull down that picture！”cried my aunt. A heavy groan, and a sound like the chattering of teeth, issued from the portrait. The servants shrunk back;the maid uttered a faint shriek, and clung to the footman for support,

“Instantly！”added my aunt, with a stamp of the foot.

The picture was pulled down, and from a recess behind it, in which had formerly stood a clock, they hauled forth a round-shouldered, black-bearded varlet, with a knife as long as my arm, but trembling all over like an aspen leaf.

“Well, and who was he？No ghost, I suppose,”said the inquisitive gentleman.

“A knight of the post,”replied the narrator,“who had been smitten with the worth of the wealthy widow;or rather, a marauding Tarquin, who had stolen into her chamber to violate her purse, and rifle her strong box, when all the house should be asleep. In plain terms,”continued he,“the vagabond was a loose, idle fellow of the neighborhood, who had once been a servant in the house, and had been employed to assist in arranging it for the reception of its mistress, He confessed that he had contrived this hiding place for his nefarious purpose, and had borrowed an eye from the portrait by way of a reconnoitering hole.”

“And what did they do with him？Did they hang him？”resumed the questioner.

“Hang him！How could they？”exclaimed a beetlebrowed, barrister with a hawk’s nose.“The offense was not capital. No robbery, no assault had been committed. No forcible entry or breaking into the premises”.

“My aunt,”said the narrator,“was a woman of spirit, and apt to take the law in her own hands. She had her own notions of cleanliness also. She ordered the fellow to be drawn through the horsepond, to cleanse away all offenses, and then to be well rubbed down with an oaken towel.”

“And what became of him afterwards？”said the inquisitive gentleman.

“I do not exactly know. I believe he was sent on a voyage of improvement to Botany Bay.”

“And your aunt？”said the inquisitive gentleman.“I’ll warrant she took care to make her maid sleep in the room with her after that.”

“No, sir, she did better;she gave her hand shortly after to the roistering squire;for she used to observe that it was a dismal thing for a woman to sleep alone in the country.”

“She was right,”observed the inquisitive gentleman, nodding sagaciously;“but I am sorry they did not hang that fellow.”

It was agreed on all hands that the last narrator had brought his tale to the most satisfactory conclusion, though a country clergyman present regretted that the uncle and aunt, who figured in the different stories, had not been married together;they certainly would have been wall matched.

我的姨妈身材高大，意志坚强，行事果断。她也许就是所谓的有男子气概的女人。而我的姨夫是个瘦弱的人，非常温和，也非常温顺，和我的姨妈一点都不般配。自打他们结婚那天起，我们就眼见他越来越抽缩，他无法承受姨妈的种种强大的意愿，他总感到疲惫不堪。而我的姨妈却对他关怀备至，镇上半数以上的医生都被她请来给姨夫诊断，开方子。她让他喝下医药方上列的所有的药，那量都足够给整个医院的病人用了。可这些丝毫不起作用。我姨夫吃的药越多，受到的照顾越精细，他的情况越恶化，最后还是死了，成了那一长串婚姻牺牲者名单中的一个——这些都是因为配偶的过分关心而死的。

“那他的魂来找她了吗？”一个爱问先生问正在讲述这个故事的人。

“你继续往下听啊！”讲故事的人说，“我的姨妈为她可怜丈夫的离世难过不已，也许她不该给他吃那么多药。但她不不该因将他爱护进了坟墓而良心不安，她尽到了寡妇之道，使丈夫死后的名声更荣耀。她不惜工本，缝制了质地最好的丧服，把一个小日晷那么大的他的头像挂在脖子上，还裱了一幅他的全身像，挂在自己的卧室里。全世界的人都赞扬她的操守德行。他们认定，这样一个好的女人如此悼念自己的亡夫，很快就会找到下一个如意郎君的。

不久，她就到德比郡的一个古老乡村里定居了，那里长期住着一个男仆和一个管家。她几乎把所有的仆人都带了过去，打算把那里作为自己的居所。这房子在村庄里一个偏僻而孤寂的地方，位于德比郡那些灰暗的小山之间。从远处看，人们能看到那吊着一个被链子捆着的杀人犯。

那些她从镇上带来的仆人听说他们要搬到这个阴暗、诡异的地方，一半都吓破了胆。尤其是晚上的时候，他们聚集在住的地方，互相交流白天听到的那些鬼怪传说，更是令人心惊肉跳。他们都害怕一个人待在那间阴森、黑暗的房间里。我姨妈手下的一个神经质的女仆说她在这种“阴气森森的房子”里，是不可能入睡的。心地善良的马夫总是竭尽所能地宽慰她，让她开心。

这个偏僻而孤寂的房子也令我姨妈害怕。所以睡觉之前，她会检查所有门窗是否关好，亲手锁好那些贵重的餐具，把钥匙和一个装有钱以及珠宝的小盒子一起带到自己的房间。因为她名声显赫，而且又是个事必躬亲的人。在她把钥匙在枕头下面藏好之后，就把女仆人打发走，然后坐在梳妆前梳着头发。尽管她正在为我的姨夫守丧，可作为一个颇有姿色的寡妇，多少要讲究一些自己的仪容。她坐了一会儿，端祥着镜中的自己，左看看，右看看，就像女人习惯性的那样拿着镜子端详自己是不是好看。她年轻时喜欢过一个乡绅，就住在这附近，那天还来拜访她，对她的到来，他表示欢迎。

突然她听到身后有什么动静，立马扭头去看，但除了那幅挂在墙上的、被画得面目恐怖的亡夫画像，其他的什么都没有。

她重重地叹了口气，以示哀悼。她已经习惯在人前这样造作一下，然后又整理起了她的睡衣，继续想着那个乡绅。然而，她的叹息声竟然有了回音，或者说是回应。她又环顾四周，但确定没人。她以为这个声音是风吹过这座老房子的老鼠洞时发出的，便又开始悠闲地摆弄起她的卷发。这时，她看到画像里有一只眼睛动了。

“可是，她应该是后脑勺背对着那副画的啊！”——另一个脑子有点问题的人对讲故事的人说，“是呀！”

“是的，先生，”讲述者冷冷地说，“她是背对着那幅画像，但她的眼睛正盯着镜子里反射的画像啊。这情况太诡异了，你们完全能想到，这让她受到了多么突然的惊吓。为了确定自己没看错，她把手放到额头上假装按摩，然后透过手指缝往外瞧，并用另一只手移动蜡烛，小小烛光竟在那只眼睛上闪动。

她肯定那眼睛一定是动了，不仅如此，它好像还冲她眨眼，这动作就像她亡夫生前爱做的样子。霎时间，她心里泛起了一阵寒意，透彻心扉。因为这屋里只有她一个人，现在的处境对她来说十分可怕。

但这寒意并没有持续多久。我的姨妈是一个像你叔叔一样果断的人，马上就冷静下来，恢复镇定。她继续整理睡衣，竟然还哼起了小曲，还没有跑调。她不经意间打翻了一个梳妆匣，又拿起一支蜡烛，把那些小物件一个个从地板上捡起来，顺势追赶一个快速朝床下滚着的针插。然后，她把房门打开，向走廊看了一眼，然后，她悄悄地走了出去。

她赶忙下楼，命令仆人拿起手边最近的武器把自己武装起来，然后带着一帮人，很快回到了她的房间。

她慌忙中组建的队伍看上去很强大。男仆手里有一只大口径的短程散弹枪，车夫握着一根铅芯棍棒，马夫拿的是一对马枪，厨子拿着一把巨大的削皮器，而男管家一手拎一支瓶子。我的姨妈拿一把烧红的钳子打头阵。在我看来，她是这群人中威力最大的一个。那个女仆，不敢在厅里单独待着，便跟在队伍的屁股后面，一面对着一个破了的嗅盐瓶子，一面解释说她害怕“女鬼”。“是男鬼，”我姨妈斩钉截铁地说。“我要把他们的胡子都燎光。”

他们进了房间，一切都像她刚才离开时一样，完好如初。他们慢慢地走近我姨夫的画像。

“把那幅画摘下来。”我的姨妈喊着。画像那边传来了一阵沉重的呻吟，好像牙齿打颤的声音。仆人们吓得退到一边。那女仆发出一声尖叫，抓住马夫以支撑住身体。

“马上。”我的姨妈跺着脚，又命令道。

那幅画被扯了下来，它后面藏着一个通道，以前那里放着一座钟。他们从那里拖出一个弯腰弓背，长着黑胡子的男人。那个人手里拿着一把胳膊那么长的刀，但身体抖得像一片杨树叶子。

“他是谁？我猜一定不是鬼。”那个爱问先生说。

“是个欺骗、偷窃混饭的无赖，”讲故事的人说，“他想霸占这个寡妇的钱财。简单地说，他就是想抢劫。他偷偷溜到她的房间，想趁夜深时所有人睡了之后，去偷她的钱包和保险柜。”他接着说，“那个人是附近的一个浪**子，整天吊儿郎当，无所事事。他以前在这里做过仆人，被雇来帮着整理这个房间，为迎接新的女主人。他坦白说——他挖空心思，想到这个主意，藏到画像后面，从画中人的眼睛部位偷窥。”

“他们怎么处置他的呢？把他绞死了吗？”爱问先生问。

“绞死他，怎么可能？”一位眉毛浓密，长着鹰钩鼻的律师说，“他的罪没那么重，他没有抢劫，没有杀人，没有强行入室。”

“我的姨妈，”讲故事的人说，“她是个非常有主意的女人，习惯按自己的意愿使用法律，对于如何让他改过自新她有自己的见解。她让人把他放入马池里拖来拖去，说是要洗清他的罪孽，又用木棍将他痛打一顿。

“那后来他怎么样了？”爱问先生说。

“我不是特别清楚，我想，也许他被流放到澳大利亚的植物学湾接受改造了。”

“那你的姨妈呢？”爱问先生说，“我敢说，事后她一定让那个女仆陪她睡一个房间。”

“不，先生，比这要好。”不久，她便与故事开头提到的那个乡绅结婚了，她逢人便说：“一个女人住在乡下实在是太凄凉啦！”

“她说的对，”爱问先生一边说，一边点着头，“但是真遗憾，他们没有绞他死！”

毫无疑问，说故事的人后来给他的故事是一个最令人满意的结尾，虽然一个乡村教士有点遗憾，因为在另一个故事里出现的的叔叔和姨妈都没有结婚，而且他们非常般配。

词汇笔记

matrimonial[,m?tr?'mon??l]adj.婚姻的，婚礼的

He and his wife have been experiencing matrimonial difficulties.

他和妻子婚姻不和。

compunction[k?m'p??k??n]n.内疚，后悔，懊悔

I would have broken my word without compunction.

我会毫无内疚地食言。

arrange[?'rend?]v.把……（系统地）分类；整理；改编（剧本等）；达成……的协议

She arranged an appointment for Friday afternoon at four-fifteen.

她在星期五下午4点15分安排了一次会面。

pincushion['p?n, k???n]n.针垫

I've just found a new pincushion.

你就是我的新针垫。

小试身手

这个偏僻而孤寂的房子也令我姨妈害怕。

他们进了房间，一切都像她刚才离开时一样，完好如初。

那女仆发出一声尖叫，抓住马夫以支撑住身体。

……they were afraid to venture alone about the gloomy……

be afraid to：害怕

……in spite of her grief for my uncle……

in spite of：虽然，尽管……；不顾；别看