Ⅳ.Guidelines for Modern International Etiquette

With the advancements of science and health care,we are allowed to live a life easier than ever before.However,we have also to sustain substantial pressure which ensues from the sharp increase of population,scientific innovation,rampant entertainment activities and all-pervasive news as well as a redefinition of the family.It is the pressures of the modern society that leads to the degeneration of people’s behavior which can be revealed from the rise of crimes.

What is this era calling for? New guidelines for civil conduct are urgently needed in a time when their significance is undermined.It is true that a more casual approach to dressing,communicating,and entertaining has taken hold,but that is hardly something to be concerned about.The history of human interaction is one of change and manners should keep up with the changing times.In spite of tremendous hurdles,unceremonious occasions and unknown surprises that we may encounter,today’s guidelines will adjust our behavior in daily life.In fact,we need manners more than ever.

Nowadays,people adjust their behavior in accordance with different occasions and the anticipations,nevertheless,the basic elements of manners,i.e.common sense,magnanimity as well as many concrete norms remain unchanged,which will better guide us in social interaction.Flexible as manners may be,the main principles of manners have been as solid as bedrock—respect,consideration,honesty,graciousness,and deference.

■Respect

Respecting a person means that you acknowledge his/her value as a human being,irrespective of his/her origin,race or religion.A respectful person would treat a salesman,a waiter or an office assistant equally.Respect is demonstrated in our day-to-day relations—by refraining from belittling others for their opinions and ideas,refusing to laugh at sexist or racist jokes,putting prejudices aside,and staying open-minded.

Equal importance should be attached to self-respect.A self-respect person,instead of bloating himself,feels confident about himself and awakes potentials in others.He/She puts reputation in the first place and believes in himself/herself for he/she knows where his/her strength lies.

■Consideration

Thoughtfulness and kindness are folded into consideration for other people.The Golden Rule—Do unto others as you would have them do unto you—fully embodies the spirit of consideration.Thoughtfulness means thinking about what you can do to put people at ease,while kindness is more about acts.Being integrated,these qualities lead us to help others no matter they are friends or strangers,to bestow a token of appreciation,to offer sincere praise.

■Honesty

Honesty has more to do with ethics than etiquette.Nothing could be more intolerable than being deceptive.Bearing honesty in mind,we would become upright and faithful by behaving in a more genuine and tactful fashion,which would save many troubles brought about by unbecoming manners.

A tactful person can tell the truth to another person without engendering awkwardness or discomfort.To put it another way,tact calls for both empathy and benevolent honesty: “I bet you look better in the other bathing suit” is honest,while “That bathing suit makes you look fat” may be equally true but causes upset and annoyance.

■Graciousness

Being gracious means to handle various occasions in a gorgeous and composed fashion,while showing deference can be as easy as removing one’s hat in a place of worship.

Graciousness can be demonstrated in social interactions—refraining from demeaning others and seek to put people in comfort.You’re being gracious when someone forgets your name during an introduction and you say,“Oh,never mind! I’m always at a loss when I try to remember names.” “Grace” is defined as “good will; favor”; “thoughtfulness toward others”; and “a sense of what is right and proper” in dictionaries and we tend to forget that “gracious” is the adjective form of it.In any event,grace is a quality that we should strive to achieve.

■Deference

Deference refers to one’s approval of a person’s achievements and experience.Courtesies should be observed like standing when an older person enters a room,giving a senior executive the head seat at a conference table,and addressing authority figures by their titles and last names (unless they specifically request otherwise).Deferring politely reveals the positive attitude toward the other people’s achievements.