第32章 明智之举The Right Moves

佚名 /Anonymous

One day, many years ago, when I was working as a psychologist at a children's institution in England, an adolescent boy showed up in the waiting room. I went out there where he was walking up and down restlessly.

I showed him into my off ice and pointed to the chair on the other side of my desk. It was in late autumn, and the lilac bush outside the window had shed all its leaves. “Please sit down.” I said.

David wore a black raincoat that was buttoned all the way up to his neck. His face was pale, and he stared at his feet while wringing his hands nervously. He had lost his father as an infant, and had lived together with his mother and grandfather since. But the year before David turned 13, his grandfather died and his mother was killed in a car accident. Now he was 15 and in family care.

His head teacher had referred him to me. “This boy,” he wrote, “is understandably very sad and depressed. He refuses to talk to others and I'm very worried about him. Can you help?”

I looked at David. How could I help him? There are human tragedies psychology doesn't have the answer to, and which no words can describe. Sometimes the best thing one can do is to listen openly and sympathetically.

The f irst two times we met, David didn't say a word. He sat hunched up in the chair and only looked up to look at the children's drawings on the wall behind me. As he was about to leave after the second visit, I put my hand on his shoulder. He didn't shrink back, but he didn't look at me either.

“Come back next week, if you like.” I said.

He came, and I suggested we play a game of chess. He nodded. After that we played chess every Wednesday afternoon in complete silence and without making any eye contact. It's not easy to cheat in chess, but I admit that I made sure David won once or twice.

Usually, he arrived earlier than agreed, took the chessboard and pieces from the shelf and began setting them up before I even got a chance to sit down. It seemed as if he enjoyed my company. But why did he never look at me?

“Perhaps he simply needs someone to share his pain with.” I thought, “Perhaps he senses that I respect his suffering.” One afternoon in late winter, David took off his raincoat and put it on the back of the chair. While he was setting up the chess pieces , his face seemed more alive and his motions more lively.

Some months later, when the lilacs blossomed outside, I sat staring at David's head while he was bent over the chessboard. I thought about how little we know about therapy and the mysterious process associated with healing. Suddenly, he looked up at me.

“It's your turn.” he said.

After that day, David started talking. He got friends in school and joined a bicycle club. He wrote to me a few times (“I'm biking with some friends and I feel great!”), letters about how he would try to get into university. After some time, the letters stopped. Now he had really started to live his own life.

Maybe I gave David something. At least I learned a lot from him. I learned how time makes it possible to overcome what seems to be an insuperable pain. I learned to be there for people who need me. And David showed me how one without any words can reach out to another person. All it takes is a hug, a friendly touch, a sympathetic nature, and an ear that listens.

很多年前，我在英格兰一所儿童机构里做心理医生，一天，候诊室里来了一个小男孩。我走进候诊室时，他正在那里不安地走来走去。

我带他进了我的办公室，示意他坐到我办公桌对面的椅子上。正值晚秋，窗外的丁香树上叶子早已落光了。“请坐。”我说。

那天大卫穿了一件黑色的雨衣，衣服上的扣子一直扣到了颈部。他脸色苍白，目光紧盯着双脚，双手也不安地来回搓动。他很小就没了爸爸，一直同妈妈和爷爷相依为命。但是，在大卫十二岁那年，爷爷去世了，而妈妈也死于一场车祸。现在他已经十五岁了，在救济中心生活。

他的校长曾经跟我提到过他。在信上，校长写道：“这个男孩很忧伤，也很沮丧，这是可以理解的。他拒绝和别人交谈，我很担心他。您可以帮他吗？”

我看着大卫，我该怎么帮他呢？对于人间悲剧，心理学上并没有给出解决方案，对此也没有只言片语。有时候，带着同情去倾听一个人的心声是最好的办法。

我们前两次见面，大卫一句话也没说。他弯着腰坐在椅子上，只是抬头看着后面墙上我的孩子们的画。第二次来我的办公室，在他准备离开的时候，我把手放在他的肩上。他没有躲闪，但也没有看我。

“如果你喜欢的话，下星期再来。”我这样说。

那周他来了，我建议我们两个下象棋，他点点头表示赞同。从那以后，我们每周三的下午都在一起下棋——完全沉默的，没有任何眼神交流。下棋作弊并不是一件容易的事，我承认我也故意输给过大卫一两次。

通常，大卫都会比约定的时间早到。他会在我坐好之前从架子上取下棋盘和棋子，并把它们摆好。看上去他似乎喜欢和我在一起，但是，为什么他从来不看我一眼呢？

“或许，他只是需要有人来与他分担痛苦吧。”我想，“也或者他认为我尊重他的苦楚吧。”晚冬的一个下午，大卫脱下雨衣挂在椅子靠背上。在他摆放棋子的时候，他的脸看上去更活泼，动作更活跃了。

数月后，外面的丁香开得正旺。我坐在那里，大卫俯在棋盘上的时候，我注视着他的脑袋，我在想，与康复有关的治疗和神秘过程，我知道的是何其少啊！突然，他抬起头看着我。

“现在轮到你了。”他说。

那天之后，大卫开始和人交谈。他在学校交了朋友，加入了自行车俱乐部。他曾写过几封信给我（我正和几个朋友一起骑车，我感觉好极了！），信中讲他是怎样努力考入大学的。一段时间过后，他不再给我写信。现在，他真的开始了自己的生活。

也许，我曾给予了大卫一些什么。至少，从他身上我懂得了许多东西。我明白了时间是如何使克服看似不能克服的痛苦成为可能，明白了对需要帮助的人要伸出援助之手。而且，大卫让我看到了一个不用任何语言的人是怎样向他人伸出援助之手的。它需要的只是一个拥抱，一个友好的抚摸，同情他人的本性和一双倾听的耳朵。

记忆填空

1.David_______ a black raincoat that was buttoned all the way up to his_______. His face was pale, and he stared at his_______while wringing his hands nervously. He had_______ his father as an infant, and had lived_______ with his mother and grandfather since. But the year before David_______13, his grandfather died and his mother was killed in a car_______.

2.He came, and I suggested we_______a game of chess. He nodded. After that we played chess_______Wednesday afternoon in complete silence and without making any_______contact. It's not easy to_______in chess, but I admit that I made sure David won once_______twice.

佳句翻译

1.有时候，带着同情去倾听一个人的心声是最好的办法。

译_______________________________________________________________

2.从那以后，我们每周三的下午都在一起下棋——完全沉默的，没有任何眼神交流。

译_______________________________________________________________

3.我明白了时间是如何使克服看似不能克服的痛苦成为可能，明白了对需要帮助的人要伸出援助之手。

译_______________________________________________________________

短语应用

1.One day, many years ago, when I was working as a psychologist at a children's institution in England, an adolescent boy showed up in the waiting room.

show up：出席，露面，到场

造_______________________________________________________________

2.At least I learned a lot from him. I learned how time makes it possible to overcome what seems to be an insuperable pain.

at least：至少，起码，无论如何

造_______________________________________________________________