第22章 对待感激的新态度A New Attitude to Gratitude

费斯·安德鲁·贝德福特 /Faith Andrews Bedford

One of the nice things about having grown children is that I no longer have to bug them about writing thank-you notes. When they were little, all three would dictate thank-yous that I would include with drawings they'd made of their presents. By the time Eleanor, Sarah and Drew were old enough to write own thank-you notes, however, they would do so only with much prodding.

“Have you written to thank Grandy for the book yet?” I'd ask. “What did you say to Aunt Dorothy about that sweater?” Invariably, I'd be met with mumbles and shrugs.

One year, in the days following Christmas, I'd grown weary of nagging. The children had become mother-deaf. Frustrated, I declared that no one would be allowed to play with a new toy or wear a new outf it until the appropriate thank-you notes had been mailed. Still they procrastinated and grumbled.

Something snapped. “Everyone into the car.” I said.

“Where are we going ?” Sarah asked, bewildered.

“To buy a Christmas present.”

“But it's after Christmas.” she protested, putting on her coat.

“No arguing,” I said in a tone that meant exactly that.

The kids piled into the car. “You're going to see just how much time those who care about you spend when they give you a present.” I told them.

Handing Drew a pad of paper and a pencil, I said, “Please mark down the time we left home.”

When we reached the village, Drew noted our arrival time. The children helped me select presents for my sisters at a local shop. Then we turned around and drove home.

Bursting free from the conf ines of the car, the children headed for their sleds. “Not so fast, ” I said. “We've got to wrap the presents.” The kids slouched inside.

“Drew, ” I asked, “did you note the time we got home?” He nodded. “Okay, please time the girls while they wrap the presents.”

I made the Children cocoa as they wrapped the presents. When they'd tied the last bow, they looked up expectantly. “How long did this all take?” I asked Drew.

Glancing at his notes, he said, “It took us 28 minutes to get to town and 15 minutes to buy the presents. Then it was 38 minutes to get home, because we had to buy gas.”

“And how long did it take us to wrap the boxes?” Eleanor asked.

“Each of you did one present in two minutes, ” Drew said.

“And how many minutes will it take to mail these presents?” I asked.

“F ifty-six minutes, round trip, ” Drew f igured. “If we don't need gas.”

“But you forgot standing-in-line time.” said Sarah.

“Okay,” Drew said. “We need to add about 15 minutes for mailing.”

“So, what's the total time we'd spend to give someone a present?”

Drew did the arithmetic. “Two hours and 34 minutes.”

I laid a piece of stationery, an envelope and a pen beside each child's cocoa cup. “Now please write a thank-you note. Be sure to mention the present by name and tell what fun you'll have using it.”

Silence reigned as the children gathered their thoughts; soft pen scrathes followed. “Done.” said Eleanor, pressing her envelope closed.

“Me, too.” echoed Sarah.

“That took us three minutes.” Drew said, sealing his letter.

“Is three minutes too much to ask to thank someone for a thoughtful gift that may have taken two and a half hours to choose and send to you?” I asked.

The children looked down at the table and shook their heads.

“It's a good idea to get in the habit now. In time you'll want to write thank-you notes for many things.”

Drew groaned. “Like what?”

“Like dinners or lunches. Or weekends at someone's home or the time someone takes to give you advice on college applications or careers.”

“Did you have to write thank-yous when you were a kid?” Drew asked.

“Absolutely.”

“What did you say?” he asked. I could tell he was formulating the rest of his thank-you notes.

“It was a long time ago.” I said.

Then I remembered Uncle Arthur, my great-grandfather's youngest brother. I'd never met him, yet every Christmas he sent me a gift. He was blind and lived in Salem, Mass. His niece Bacca, who lived next door, sat down with him and wrote out $5 checks to his great and great-great-grand nieces and nephews. I always wrote, telling him what I'd spent his check on.

When I went to school in Massachusetts, I had the chance to visit Uncle Arthur. As we chatted, he told me he'd always enjoyed my notes.

“You remember them?” I asked.

“Yes,”he replied. “I've saved some of my favorites.” He waved toward a highboy by the window.“Would you get the packet of letters out of the top drawer?” he asked. “It's wrapped in ribbon.”

I found an old letter with my handwriting and read aloud: “Dear Uncle Arthur, I am writing this to you as I sit under the hair dryer at the beauty salon. Tonight is the Holiday Ball at the high school and I am spending your Christmas check having my hair done for the party. Thank you so very much. I know I'll have a wonderful time, in part because of your thoughtful gift. Love, Faith.”

“And did you?” he asked.

I thought back to that wonderful evening so many years ago. “Def initely.” I replied with a smile that I wished Uncle Arthur could see.

Sarah's tug at my sleeve pulled me back to the present. “What are you smiling at?” she asked.

I told the children about Uncle Arthur's gifts and how glad I was that I'd written a note each year. They obviously meant a lot to him.

“And did you look beautiful?” asked Sarah.

“My date thought I did.”

“Who did you go to the ball with? What did you wear?” asked Eleanor.

“I think I have a picture of that evening.” I said, going to the bookshelves and pulling down a scrapbook. I opened it to a picture of me standing in front of my parents’ f ireplace. I'm wearing a black velvet evening dress, and my hair is arranged in an elaborate French twist. Beside me, a handsome young man beams as he hands me a corsage.

“But that' s Daddy!” Eleanor said with surprise.

I nodded and smiled.

As the children settled down to f inish the rest of their notes, I stroked the faded petals of the dried gardenia pasted next to the photograph.

This Christmas, Bob mad I celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary. Thank you, Uncle Arthur.

将孩子抚养成人，最开心的事之一就是不用再逼着他们写感谢信了。三个孩子小的时候，我会口述感谢信的内容，由他们写在纸上，他们还会把礼物的模样画下来，由我附在信中。可当埃利诺、萨拉和德鲁到了能自己写感谢信的年纪时，却总是在我的催促下才去写。

“你们写信谢谢格兰蒂送的那本书了吗？”我问道。“还有那件毛衣，你们跟多萝茜姑妈说什么了吗？”而我得到的回答总是含糊其辞或是耸耸肩。

有一年圣诞节后的几天，我实在厌倦了唠叨，而孩子们只把妈妈的话当做耳旁风。迫于无奈，我只好宣布，谁都不能玩儿新玩具或穿新衣服，除非写出合适的感谢信寄出去。他们还是磨磨蹭蹭，不停地抱怨。

我“啪”的一声打开车门，说：“全部上车。”

萨拉疑惑地问：“我们要去哪儿？”

“去买圣诞礼物。”

她边穿大衣边抗议着：“但是圣诞节已经过了啊！”

“别争辩了！”我坚定地说。

孩子们一个个上了车。我告诉他们：“你们将会了解到，那些关心爱护你们的人为给你们准备礼物花了多长时间。”

我交给德鲁一个笔记本和一支铅笔，说：“把我们离家的时间记下来。”

抵达村子时，德鲁把时间记了下来。孩子们在当地的一家店铺里帮我挑选礼物，准备送给我的姐妹们。之后，我就掉转车头，回家了。

一下车，孩子们就向雪橇跑去。“别急，”我说，“我们必须把礼物包装好。”他们又垂头丧气地回来了。

我问：“德鲁，你记下到家的时间了吗？”他点点头。“好的，把女孩们包装礼物的时间也记下来。”

孩子们打包礼品的同时，我为他们准备了可可茶。包装完最后一个时，他们扬起头看着我，满怀期待。我问德鲁：“总共用了多长时间？”

德鲁看了看记录，说：“进城用了二十八分钟，买礼物用了十五分钟，由于路上要加油，因此回家用了三十八分钟。”

埃利诺问：“包装礼物花了多长时间？”

“你们每人包装一份礼物需要两分钟。”德鲁答道。

“去邮寄这些礼物需要多久？”我问。

德鲁算了算说：“如果不加油，五十六分钟就可走完所有路程。”

“但是，你把排队的时间忘了。”萨拉说。

“好吧，”德鲁说，“那在邮寄时间上再加十五分钟左右。”

“那么，送一份礼物总共需要花费多长时间呢？”

德鲁计算着，说道：“两小时三十四分钟。”

接着，我在每个孩子的可可杯旁都放上了信纸、信封和笔。“请立刻写一封感谢信，信中务必要提到礼物是什么，礼物带给你们的快乐也要写下来。”

孩子们沉默了下来，构思着，很快便传来钢笔的沙沙声。埃利诺折好信封，说：“写好了。”

“我也一样。”萨拉随声附和道。

“我们用了三分钟。”德鲁说着，并把信封好。

“别人把用两个半小时精心准备的礼物送给你们，而你们只需花三分钟写封感谢信，这也算麻烦吗？”我问。

孩子们低头看着桌子，摇了摇头。

“最好的主意就是从现在起，养成写感谢信的习惯。将来，对于很多事情，你们都要及时写感谢信。”

德鲁咕哝着：“什么时候写？”

“比如，别人晚餐或午餐请客，或在别人家度周末，或当别人为你的大学申请或事业提出建议时都要写。”

“您小时候也得写感谢信吗？”德鲁问。

“当然。”

“您都会写什么呢？”他问。看来是想把我所说的作为今后写感谢信的套路。

“那些事已经过去很久了。”我说。

接着，我回忆起了阿瑟太爷爷，他是我曾祖父最小的弟弟。虽然我从未见过他，但每到圣诞节他都会送我礼物。双目失明的他住在马萨诸塞州的赛伦。他的侄女贝卡就住在他隔壁，也常会坐下来和他一起为他的曾孙辈以及曾曾孙辈的侄子侄女开出一张张五美元的支票。而我总会写信告诉他，我是怎么花那些钱的。

后来，我去马萨诸塞州上学，有幸拜访了阿瑟太爷爷。聊天中，他说很喜欢我写的信。

“您记得那些信？”我问。

“是啊，”他答道，“我把最喜欢的几封留了下来。”他指了指窗户旁的一个高脚柜。“把最上面抽屉里的那捆信拿来，好吗？”他说，“是用缎带捆着的。”

我找到很久之前写的一封信，大声读了出来：“亲爱的阿瑟太爷爷，写这封信时，我正坐在美容厅的头发烘干器下。中学今晚举办圣诞舞会，为了参加晚会，我现在正用您寄来的圣诞支票做发型。实在太感谢您了。我知道我一定会玩得很开心，说起来也是因为您这份贴心的礼物。爱您的，费斯。”

“那天你玩得开心吗？”他问。

我回忆起多年前那个令人愉快的夜晚。“当然。”我微笑着说，真希望阿瑟太爷爷能看到我的笑容。

萨拉用力拉拉我的衣袖，让我回到了现实。“您笑什么呢？”她问。

我把阿瑟太爷爷送礼物给我，以及我很高兴每年写一封感谢信给他的事告诉了孩子们。对他来说，这些信显然意义非凡。

“那时候，您漂亮吗？”萨拉问。

“我男朋友觉得我很美。”

“您是和谁一起去参加舞会的？当时穿着什么衣服？”埃利诺问。

“我想应该还有一张那晚的照片。”说着，我走到书架前，取下相册，翻到站在父母的壁炉前的那张照片。我身穿黑色的天鹅绒晚礼服，头发是精致的法国式鬈发。站在我身旁的是一位英俊潇洒的青年，他正微笑着把胸花递给我。

“那是爸爸！”埃利诺诧异地说。

我微笑着点点头。

孩子们继续专心写信，我摸了摸贴在照片旁的褪色干枯的栀子花瓣。

今年圣诞节我和鲍勃庆祝了结婚三十六周年。谢谢您，阿瑟太爷爷。

记忆填空

1.When they were_______, all three would dictate thank-yous_______I would include with drawings they'd_______of their presents. By the time Eleanor, Sarah and Drew were_______ enough to write own thank-you_______, however, they would do so_______with much prodding.

2.I found an old_______with my handwriting and_______aloud:“Dear Uncle Arthur, I am writing this to you_______I sit under the hair dryer at the beauty salon._______is the Holiday Ball at the high school and I am spending your Christmas_______ having my hair done for the party...”

3.I'm_______a black velvet evening dress, and my_______is arranged in an elaborate French twist._______ me, a handsome young man beams as he hands me a corsage.

佳句翻译

1.将孩子抚养成人，最开心的事之一就是不用再逼着他们写感谢信了。

译_______________________________________________________________

2.进城用了二十八分钟，买礼物用了十五分钟。

译_______________________________________________________________

3.请立刻写一封感谢信，信中务必要提到礼物是什么，礼物带给你们的快乐也要记下来。

译_______________________________________________________________

短语应用

1.I laid a piece of stationery.

a piece of：一块；一张；一片；一根

造_______________________________________________________________

2....in part because of your thoughtful gift.

in part：在某种程度上；部分地

造_______________________________________________________________