Ⅰ.Courtesy Begins at Home

Each family has its own rules for behavior on matters,and generally children of the family learn these rules from childhood.There are fundamental rules for behavior that can apply to every family.And a young child can easily keep the good habits of behavior when he/she goes to school and begins visiting in other homes,if he /she learns these rules and customs well and is good at applying them at home.

Many old and long-standing customs which have been proved and accepted over the generations are good to learn and to use.So are new habits for courtesy and safety,because in the present day people move around more,travel more,and do a larger amount of things each day than that was common in the past.This means that young people must learn to handle new situations.

In order to make family life more comfortable and systematic,parents will expect their children to comply certain courtesies in the home.The same basic rules are applicative when you go to a restaurant,or travel,or visit at friends’ homes.

Most of the daily-living courtesies are really very simple to learn and to apply.Obedience comes first when young children are learning good behavior and safety.When children get a little older and can understand that other people have wants and needs too,they would learn and apply kindness and consideration.

■Obey Parents

This is supreme.Your life may depend on it.It is crucial for a small child to learn to obey a sudden order.A parent might call to the child to stop him/her from any danger that he/she does not recognize,such as calling “stop” to keep him/her from running into the street when a car comes,or keeping him/her from reaching toward a fire or hot stove,or from approaching a strange dog.Gradually,as the child grows older and feels ready to make his/her own decision,his/her parents’ advice and guidance substitute such direct orders.

■Be Considerate to Sibling

This is really a component of the ancient Golden Rule,“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Courteous habits are helpful to prevent quarreling and unhappiness when people live together,and everyone has his/her own wish.If opinions are really different,families should try to work out their problems by talking them over.Often a solution can be reached in serenity.Quarreling can develop into a habit.It is not too difficult to solve the family problems if the members try to be courteous,even if they are very angry.

Kindness is a magnificent quality in human beings.Kindness and consideration are taught in family in all the major religions of the world.The feeling that is called “love” is generally expressed by simply trying to be kind.

■Be Thoughtful of Others

Nowadays,most people,both young and old,do not spend much time in formal situations.It used to be that a “well-brought-up” child would be taken by his/her mother to visit the mothers’ friends.Little girls learned to curtsy,and little boys to bow.The children were expected to do these things when they went out to “tea”,and only when they were spoken to,they could speak and answer.Customs like these have almost vanished.Now such behavior is considered to be “Victorian” or “old fashioned”.

Politeness and friendliness were the reasons why ladies in the old days “called” upon one another and at times brought their children along.We might feel sorry for the “good” child who had to go,all scrubbed and starched,to visit a lady of his/her mother’s acquaintance.The child maybe had strict orders to sit quietly and not tease the cat,to accept only one piece of cake and not ask for more! At last,though,the children knew what to do and not what to do,because a formal situation is almost a ritual.

But today,few mothers have the time or desire to make formal calls or to have visitors in the afternoon in a formal manner.Many mothers work and do not have much spare time,while many other mothers are busy for their daily life such as keeping house,going shopping,serving on committees,or driving the car to call for children at school and taking to their lessons and ball games.

When mothers have the time,they also like calling on their friends.If you go with your mother,it is still good behavior to answer politely and in a pleasant way when you are asked about school,your lessons,or your team or club,though you will not be expected curtsy or bow.Even an informal situation calls for good manners.

In someone else’s home,you had best wait until your hostess suggests you go outside to play or explore her house.If she warns you about her dog or her newly planted flower bed,it is for your sake that she is speaking,and she just wants to save you from embarrassment and keep you out of trouble.When adults think the direct speaking is the best way to teach you,they may speak sharply to you.Many adults don’t have much patience for young people.It may be helpful if you understand that adults have many things to worry and tire them,and they wish to keep you from adding to their problems,even though they are fond of you.You should be patient with adults rather than arguing with them.Then you will learn to understand their behavior better.You will realize that sooner or later you will have adult problems to solve,and that patience is a great help.Both you and the adults around you should try best to be thoughtful and patient.

It is unnecessary to quarrel.Nothing is as “grace less” as a fight.What actions can be taken when each member of the family wants his/her own way,wants it badly,and each person really has an equal right to his/her own way? Nothing but love,patience,kindness and humor can work under such circumstances.And in such a spirit,most problems,big and little,can be solved or at least settled in a reasonable discussion.

Where there are human beings,there are differences and quarrels.Both children and adults can display anger.Children often like to hit and slap; very little children are even tempted to bite! This kind of feelings must be well-controlled.Violent behavior only makes the problems greater and more difficult to solve.

■Be Orderly

Put your clothing in order.Make your bed and keep your room as neat as you can.Arrange your toys,books,and games when they are not in use.It is a help to everyone.When you need something to keep your belongings,you can buy a box or carton from the grocer,which you might decorate with paper or paint to make it look beautiful.

Keep the home pleasant—your home as well as the home of others.

Wipe your shoes before entering the house.

■Pets Are Your Responsibility

You should pay enough attention to your pet and supply food and water regularly for it.Keep your pet out of trouble by training it to stay in its home and to mind its manners.Of course some pets like pet frogs,turtles,fish or insects cannot be trained,but you and your family would enjoy them more if they are kept safely in a special place.

■Do not Borrow if You Can Help It

It is an important rule in your whole life because the exchange of possessions leads to misunderstandings.If you have to borrow something,return it as soon as possible.If you have to borrow money,you should have a plan for paying it back at first,and then,return the full amount with a sincere “thank-you.” If you borrow clothing,equipment of any kind,or a toy,you should take good care of it and return clean and undamaged,and of course thank the lender.Make sure you would not let borrowing become a habit.

In the adult business world,there is a certain procedure when a person borrows money from a bank or lending firm.The borrower must sign legal papers promising to return it in line with a regular payment plan,and the sum borrowed must be repaid with “interest”.Banks and lending firms are very careful for the good reason that money is lent and they will not lend money to persons who do not have the ability to repay.

■Respect Others’ Privacy

Never interfere with another person’s mail,phone calls,or personal possessions at your own will.If you take a telephone message on to someone,be sure to pass on quickly and correctly.Otherwise,you might cause many worries and problems for people if they do not receive a clear and correct message.A couple of years later,when you are working,accurate information from phone calls can be very essential to the success of your business and your own advancement.

■Proper Use of the Telephone

The telephone is used as a way for people to communicate without obstruction.It is needed in emergencies,in calling the police or the fire department,or for someone who is injured.Friendly calls can bring a great deal.Telephones are not used for pranks.

Young people are often lured to play games with the telephone.It is bad for one to call strangers and then give ridiculous or frightening messages.It will bring cruel or tragic results.

When there are many members in a family,it is polite for everyone to make sure not to be monopolized lest there might be some incoming calls.

You should place calls cautiously; speak clearly; make your calls as short as possible,for others may want to use the telephone too.If you receive a wrong number call,you should make your number clear to the caller so that the same mistake will not be repeated.If you are taking a message,thank the caller and let him/her know that you will deliver the message cautiously.

■Answering the Door

Do not open the door unless you know who is calling! Here we meet a problem,because we want to give guest an impression of kindness.It is wise to identify the caller before letting him/her in to help protect our home and ourselves.If the visitor is found to be a guest of your family,you should invite him/her to come in and sit down.Then ask to be excused and go and tell the host that company has arrived.Shouting for the host is not proper.If others are present in the room when the guest enters,you should introduce him/her to each person.

If the caller at the door is a salesperson,you had better ask your parents or older brother or sister to speak to him/her.If you are at home alone when a salesperson comes to the door,or if an older person can not be with you,you can courteously suggest that the salesperson return at a more convenient time.This will save him/her out of embarrassment too.It would be better for you to avoid making any purchases or promises to someone at the door when you are alone and uncertain.

Never invite a stranger into your home when you are alone,for safety’s sake.